Dewey Dating Service

April 1, 2010 at 6:53 pm Leave a comment

Second April Fool’s Day library shenanigan of 2010 (that I know of). This appeared on the Colorado library listserv. Thanks, Lisa Lister!

For Immediate Release, April 1, 2010

“AskColorado Branching Out, to Offer ‘Dewey Dating Service'”

In an effort to create additional revenue streams for the organization, AskColorado is pleased to announce the opening of a new fee-based service for Colorado library patrons, the ‘Dewey Dating Service.’ “Our AskColorado clientele have been demanding this of us for years,” said Kris Johnson, AskColorado Coordinator. “We felt the market climate was finally right to expand into this potentially lucrative arena.”

Starting April 1, 2010, AskColorado (, Colorado’s popular state-wide virtual reference service, will expand its K12 and General queues¬† to include an additional queue and new website: The Dewey Dating Service will utilize a sophisticated routing software to match patrons 18 years of age and over to their ideal librarian based on personal profiles. Similar to online dating services such as and, personal profiles will include age, height, political and religious preferences, and the usual likes and dislikes related to popular entertainment, reading preferences, etc. “This isn’t your typical dating service, however” added Johnson. “Our profile matches will be based on sound principles of library science, utilizing a sophisticated algorithm programmed on the Dewey Decimal System to accurately match patrons with librarians to within a 100th of a decimal.”

Once matched, patrons and librarians will meet for a casual, yet safe, text chat in a private chat room. AskColorado is partnering with and Google Maps to electronically facilitate the transition of successful chats for premium service customers into in-person meet-ups at restaurants, coffeehouses, and wine bars by triangulating an ideal location then securing a confirmed reservation online.

Johnson remarked that she first became aware of the vast market for such a dating service back in the 1990’s while visiting with Fort Collins based punk rock band ALL in their tour bus. “Out of the blue, the bassist (your typical multi-tattooed, sweaty musician type) blurted out, “I’ve always wanted to marry a librarian!”” “Although the timing was not right at that particular juncture, recent economic events, coupled with the image of librarians peaking at an all-time high in public perception polls, convinced the organization that this service was long overdue,” summarized Johnson, “No pun intended.”

Entry filed under: perpetrated by staff.

Elsevier will help you with your bake sale Music Librarian Cloned!

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